It’s all about the sweet and sour. When you talk to your spouse are you complimentary and sweet? Or are you critical and sour? Most of us are generous with the sour ingredients in marriage. When our spouse messes up, we’re quick with criticism. But when they do well, we reserve the compliment. We save the sweets for a special occasion. Most people give out six times as many sour sayings for every one that’s...
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When it comes to making decisions, marital tension can rise more than a few degrees. Do you respect your spouse’s judgment? If you have a foundation of mutual respect and love, the temperature can stay cool and comfortable. So, here are some ways to regulate that marital thermostat and earn your spouse’s respect. First, love your spouse. Without genuine, selfless, unconditional love, nothing will succeed,...
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A fascinating Civil War story happened in Winchester, Virginia. During the conflict, the city changed hands between the North and the South over 70 times! Talk about fighting the same battle over and over again. The same thing happens in marriage. We often fight about the same issues. She doesn’t communicate well enough. He doesn’t really listen to her. He spends too much time working. She spends too much...
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“He just doesn’t understand.” Or, “He doesn’t listen,” you say. Well, that may be because you’re communicating with him the wrong way. Here are 5 Ways Not to Communicate with Your Husband. First, with bad timing. There are certain times that your husband does not want you to unload problems on him or give him a list of things he needs to do. When he walks in the door after work, when he’s eating dinner, when he’s...
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During the Civil War more than half of the skirmishes took place in Virginia, and each battle was just a continuation of the previous fight. Same reasons… same territory… different days. Sometimes marriage is like that. You have the same fights over and over about the kids, the money, the romance. The list goes on and on. But rather than continuing to take up arms, join hands and draft a resolution. Flip the...
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Author Pat Morley suggests that we stop, look and listen when our spouse wants to talk. First, stop what you’re doing. Put down your cell phone, turn off the TV. Second, look directly at your spouse when they’re talking to you. It shows you care. Third, really listen to your spouse. And men, that doesn’t mean telling her how to solve a problem. It means identifying how she’s feeling with an understanding...
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Feel like all you do is clean the house, wash the clothes, pick up after others, and provide taxi service for the kids... and no one notices? Or, maybe you feel like all you are needed for is to bring home a paycheck. A busy husband or wife can often get those feelings. So, what can you do? First, validate what your spouse is doing. Let them know that their seemingly mundane job IS very important and why. Second,...
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