I’m talking about timing in marriage – specifically, when it comes to discussing things with your spouse. You want to talk to your wife about the phone bill so you bombard her as soon as she walks in the door from work. Your husband is sick with the flu but you go ahead and bring up the broken sink anyway. Or, your wife is exhausted, and just as her head hits the pillow you bring up the budget. All bad timing. ...
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There are lots of qualities that matter: character, integrity, stability. But here’s something else to consider: look for someone who encourages you and has a positive outlook. It’s hard to have a happy marriage when your partner constantly criticizes you or makes you feel inadequate. Your spouse should be trying to build you up, not tear you down. And, it’s easier to have a happy marriage when you’re with someone...
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Maybe the last love letter you wrote was when you were dating. Do you remember how your heart raced? And do you remember how much they loved to get them? Now try to remember why you stopped. Well, it’s not too late. Pull out a clean sheet of paper and tell your spouse that you love them for who they are. Praise them for their unique talents, gifts and abilities and tell them what you cherish in your...
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According to a recent iMOM poll, the three things that couples argue about most are money, communication and discipline. Sound familiar? Conflict is natural in a relationship. But sometimes, a small disagreement can escalate into a full-blown shouting match. A useful tool couples can use to avoid a heated argument is a kind of intermission. When things are getting hot, one person can say, “Let’s take a...
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Soon after my wife and I were married, we made a discovery. It seemed like when we argued, it was at night… when we were tired and irritable from a long day. So we set a curfew on serious discussions: nine o’clock is the limit. Now, when we start to get into a heavy talk after nine, we remind each other that it’s late, we’re not going to resolve anything tonight, and we can talk about it tomorrow. This way, we...
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Maybe you've had a bad day at the office, or you're stressed about the bills. You're grouchy, you're ready to unload, and you let the words fly. You take out your frustration on your mate hoping they'll take the bait. Well, there's a better way to express frustration. When you see your spouse, just say, "I'm cranky." They'll ask why, and that's when you get to let it all out—but more like a report instead of an...
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Conflict brings out our natural defense mechanisms.If you tend to avoid or hide from it, then you’re probably like a turtle…the ever fearful animal tucks his head into the safety of his shell at the first sign of trouble.At the other extreme is the skunk…that nasty creature whose response is to spew out a horrendous odor that lets everyone around him know how he’s feeling.It’s better to be like the wise owl, whose...
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