My wife, Susan, and I have different styles of communication. So, to help us, we use what’s called the speaker/listener technique. Here’s how the speaker/listener technique works. The speaker holds a pen or some other object to show they have the floor. The speaker then makes a short statement or point. After the speaker makes their first point, the listener repeats it back or paraphrases what they heard so that...
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In a letter… that’s right… a letter. When you write something out, you usually give it more thought, and are more careful with the words you put on paper. Your spouse will probably receive it better as well, since they can read it over and then think about it privately… and you won’t be there to argue with! So when I want to address a sensitive subject with my wife… something she said that might have offended...
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It happens all too often…wife sits down with husband and shares her thoughts, feelings and emotions. After a short time, husband starts to tune out, looks down at his phone and then his mind wanders to other things. But when we don’t listen to our wives, here are 4 things that often happen. First, wives become distant. A woman can’t help but feel rejected when the thoughts she shares with her husband aren’t...
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The weather app on my phone gives me a forecast for the cities I travel to. Recently, I began thinking how helpful it would be to have a marriage app…an app that would forecast what kind of weather to expect at home every day. Even though I haven’t invented such an app, I can share with you a daily checklist that will help avoid oncoming storms in your marriage. First, check the forecast. Look at the upcoming...
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Do you know what "love languages" are? In his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Dr. Gary Chapman says a love language is how someone wants to be shown love because it satisfies a deep-seated need. According to Dr. Chapman, the five love languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Quality Time refers to spending time...
Guys, have you ever bought your wife a nice gift and wondered why she did not jump for joy? Wives, have you ever given your husband a compliment only to have it fall on deaf ears? Author Dr. Gary Chapman suggests that there are five love languages, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. And, everyone has a language that makes them feel the most loved. So, take...
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Words are powerful. Words can build up. Words can tear down. It’s so important to be careful what you say, especially in marriage. There are four toxins of the tongue that can cause great marital harm. First, sarcastic words. Sarcastic comments like, “Hey, the laundry doesn’t clean itself” cause discord and can corrupt what was once a happy relationship. Second, unsupportive words. Your spouse shares with you...
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