My wife, Susan, and I just celebrated 24 years of marriage.  After more than two decades together, you’d think we’d always have smooth sailing… but we don’t.  We both work really hard to have a great marriage.  So, why can’t we get it all together?  It’s our selfish nature… we want things from each other that we don’t always get.  She wants me to cherish, affirm and encourage her. I want her physical affection....

As you're listening to your wife explain a situation or problem, here are a couple of questions to ask yourself: "How does she feel as she’s telling me this?" and "Why is this important to her?" One of the biggest challenges in marital communication is not understanding the emotion and motive behind the message. So, the next time you're not quite following your wife's train of thought, instead of pushing her to...

It's no mystery…many women enjoy shopping as an “experience.”  On the other hand, most men shop with the "hunter" mentality…get what you need, as quickly as you can, and get back to your cave.  With these two polar opposite mindsets, shopping together can be frustrating…if you let it.  So, what’s the solution?  Look at shopping with your wife as a date…a way to spend time with her.  When you’re shopping with her,...

You can’t see where you are going; you’ve lost your vision. Maybe you’ve lost your vision for your marriage. The road you were heading down with your spouse was suddenly engulfed by an affair, illness, cancer, or an addiction.  You once could see a bright future for your child, but the light has dimmed because of rebellion, drugs, or sickness.   So, what can you do?  First, pull over. Stop what you are doing for a...

School is coming to a close and that means some households will be child-free for the first time in 18 years.  For many moms, the Empty Nest Syndrome can be really difficult emotionally.  And moms who’ve invested all their time and energies into raising their children also face another challenge.  When the kids fly the coop, mom suddenly turns her affection and attention back to her husband, only to find that he’s...

Well, for a flame to exist, you have to have fuel.  You know those old pictures you have tucked away… the love letters you’ve saved… the texts you exchange… the seemingly harmless flirtations on Facebook.  These are the fuel that—given a spark—might just become a raging inferno.  So, the first step to extinguish an old flame is to get rid of the fuel source.  Throw out the reminders, get rid of the pictures of...

Susan recently shared how she felt some bitterness in our marriage.  She explained how I sometimes tell her to stop using unkind words toward me, and then I turn around and do the same thing a few minutes later. She gets frustrated.  And that frustration, when not dealt with, leads to unresolved anger and then bitterness.  I asked for forgiveness and worked to change my errant ways. Here are 4 things a spouse can...