The more the parent understands the teen, the more the teen will connect with the parent. One of the best ways to understand our children is to listen to them and to empathize with them. In those sometimes rare occasions when they open up, seize the moment. Really hear what they have to say by giving them your undivided attention and by paraphrasing back to them what they said. Identify with them in their struggles by saying things like, "That must have been hard for you" or "How does that make you feel?" As you learn more about your teenager, be sure to validate the qualities you see in them.