It amazes me how much I’m still learning each day.  Just when I think I’ve made some great progress, I mess up and realize I’m still far from being the kind of  husband I want to be.  But after 25 years of marriage to my wife Susan, I’ve discovered a thing or two about how to communicate well.  So here’s what I’ve learned about communicating with my wife.  First, communicate gently.  Because I’m a “recovering”...

We’ve heard more than once that men crave respect—especially from their wives.  But I think it’s important that we define what sort of respect men are looking for.  So women, here are some respect needs of men.  First, respect his judgment.  Men crave to know that their wife deeply respects the things that make up his judgment: his knowledge, his opinions, and his decisions.  Second, respect his abilities.  This...

Somehow a small disagreement turned into a major dispute.  You and your spouse continued to fight until it got out of control.  Now you’re left standing alone in the kitchen, knowing she’s upstairs in the bedroom with a hurting heart.  Our first instinct is to stand our ground and “win” the argument.  But, when you do that, nobody really wins. So, what should you do? Hold your spouse higher than your pride. Don’t...

There’s no excuse for having an affair. And sure, sometimes they happen out of the blue but, more often than not, affairs don’t just happen. Usually there are things that are said or not said, done or not done, over the years that are contributing factors.  Here are some ways to push your spouse toward an affair.  First, constantly, compare and criticize.  Hurt and tear down your spouse with critical or comparing...

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressures and busyness of life, you’re not alone. And if you aren’t careful, those things can lead you to a searing desert where joy evaporates. But solitude and silence are an oasis that can help you gain perspective in at least five ways. First, solitude and silence can make you feel helpless and help you realize you’re not in control of so many things in life. And when you...

Words matter.  I choose them carefully and look for the right words for the situation. But I’ve learned there’s a fine line between being curt and courteous. How we say the words is as important as what we say.  There are three things we need to remember about communicating with our spouse that make all the difference.  First, the way we use our body can change an innocent comment into the start of something bad. ...

In marriage, there are two people and two sides to every story.  When it comes to affairs, both spouses can often point to things that led to the infidelity.  The person having the affair cannot justify it…it’s never a good thing…but there may be some things that pushed them in that direction.  Here are some ways to push your spouse toward an affair.  First, don’t really listen.  Be sure to glance down at your...