Business author Jim Collins says, "How you do when the storm comes depends on what you did before the storm comes." In the same way, how you and your spouse weather difficult times in your marriage depends on how well you prepared beforehand. So, how do you get ready for those dark, cloudy days? First, you and your spouse must decide together that you're committed to each other for life—for better or worse, no...
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Maybe you've had a bad day at the office, or you're stressed about the bills. You're grouchy, you're ready to unload, and you let the words fly. You take out your frustration on your mate hoping they'll take the bait. Well, there's a better way to express frustration. When you see your spouse, just say, "I'm cranky." They'll ask why, and that's when you get to let it all out—but more like a report instead of an...
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Think of your marriage as a house, built upon a foundation of words. When we only notice the negative things about our spouse—and constantly point those things out—our comments and complaints chip away at that foundation. But when we recognize the good things about our spouse, and speak words of sincere appreciation day by day, we strengthen that foundation. Men need the admiration and respect of their wives, and...
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Conflict brings out our natural defense mechanisms.If you tend to avoid or hide from it, then you’re probably like a turtle…the ever fearful animal tucks his head into the safety of his shell at the first sign of trouble.At the other extreme is the skunk…that nasty creature whose response is to spew out a horrendous odor that lets everyone around him know how he’s feeling.It’s better to be like the wise owl, whose...
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Many of us expect our spouse to "just know" what we're thinking or feeling. After years with each other, we begin to expect our spouse to know we've had a bad day, that we're tired, or that we want affection. They "should just know," right? Well, that's not realistic! Years of experience make it easier to predict your spouse's response, but it's no substitute for communication. If you want your spouse to know what...
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Just like the space shuttle, if you re-enter the atmosphere of your home at the wrong angle, youcould be in trouble. Realize that you and your spouse have different expectations. You're looking for relaxation…your spouse is looking for reinforcements. You can have both if you give the reinforcement first. When you walk in, ignore the mail and phone messages. Talk to your spouse first, and offer to lighten the load...
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Unfortunately, many of us are in the demolition business when it comes to our spouse. We tend to be competitive, critical and even condescending. But when it comes to our spouse, we should be a builder—undergirding and strengthening them against the things in life that would tear them down. Here are three building blocks to support your spouse. First, be cooperative. Help accomplish your spouse's goals. Second, be...
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