After suffering poor health for decades, composer Ludwig van Beethoven died in 1827 from lead poisoning. It was a slow and painful death. Bitterness in marriage is like that.  To find the antidote, we need to answer three questions.  First, what causes bitterness? Usually it’s not a single event, but several things that build up over time.  A wound here, an offense there… disappointment… betrayal. Second, what’s...

Valentine’s Day can be a bit uncomfortable for many couples and for many reasons. Here are a few culprits and what you can do about them. First, it can be awkward when you haven’t been romantic in a while. The solution? Don’t use this day to become Romeo or Juliet all of the sudden. But do use it as a springboard to launch your heart back into the relationship.  Second, it can be awkward figuring out what to give....

If you have, make up your mind that you will never use it again.  The “D” word is divorce.  It can come up when you’re fighting, “I’m sick of you – I want a divorce!”  Or when things aren’t perfect, “If you do that again, I’m outta here!”  Well, you need to replace a divorce mindset with a commitment mindset.  You see, if divorce is even an option, you’re more likely to consider it.  Are you thinking about getting...

Renew your wedding vows.  It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate.  You can even surprise your children.  Just tell them you have something planned for this Valentine’s night.   When the time comes, repeat the same vows you took on your wedding day, or use different words.  The point is to show each other and your kids how committed you are to your marriage.  Finish up the evening showing them your wedding album...

I’m talking about timing in marriage – specifically, when it comes to discussing things with your spouse. You want to talk to your wife about the phone bill so you bombard her as soon as she walks in the door from work.  Your husband is sick with the flu but you go ahead and bring up the broken sink anyway.  Or, your wife is exhausted, and just as her head hits the pillow you bring up the budget.  All bad timing. ...

The marriage rate has been on a steady decline over the past five decades.  Why this disturbing trend?  It’s because some people think that living together rather than getting married is the way to go.  The number of unmarried couples living with each other jumped from 1.6 million in 1980 to 13.6 million in 2008.  Are there consequences for co-habitation?  Well, findings from Pennsylvania State University indicate...

There are lots of qualities that matter: character, integrity, stability. But here’s something else to consider: look for someone who encourages you and has a positive outlook. It’s hard to have a happy marriage when your partner constantly criticizes you or makes you feel inadequate. Your spouse should be trying to build you up, not tear you down. And, it’s easier to have a happy marriage when you’re with someone...