I realized that I’ve been writing and speaking about how to have a great marriage, but I haven’t been putting all of it into practice.  Why? Well, a house flood, new book, financial pressures, family health challenges, and busyness have all played a role in keeping me from focusing on my marriage. But there’s no excuse. So, what am I doing about it? First, I’m re-reading some of my own blog posts on marriage and...

We all have different ways of communicating that reflect our personalities. But healthy communication exists best when spouses are both developing the skill of assertive communication. An assertive spouse develops a clear understanding of what their spouse feels, thinks and wants. They work on dealing directly, honestly, and, most importantly, respectfully with their spouse. For example, during a financial...

We all have challenges and battles in life and in marriage. The new movie War Room reminds us that we do have weapons to fight that battle well.  First, we must engage with humility. We must realize that we’re not always right and that we must listen to our spouses and look out for their best interests. Second, we must sacrifice. Sometimes we have to lay down our wants and reinforce our spouses even when we don’t...

Many of us expect our spouse to “just know” what we are thinking or feeling.  After years with each other, we begin to expect our spouse to know we’ve had a bad day, that we’re tired, or that we want affection.  They “should just know,” right?  Well, that’s not realistic!  Years of experience make it easier to predict your spouse’s response, but it’s no substitute for communication.  If you want your spouse to...

The best time for marriage counseling is before you need it.  Marriage counseling teaches couples how to work through their differences, communicate better, and solve problems in the relationship.  So why don’t more people do it?  Well, many couples feel that their private life should be just that—private.  They feel there is a stigma associated with seeking counseling.  But there are times when a third party...

Great leaders build strong families.  Here are 3 tools to help you lead your family well.  Tool one: Love.  Loving your spouse and kids is key to building a stronger family.  Love must be your highest priority.  You must love your family well to lead your family well.  Tool two: Serve.  Serving your family and putting their needs above your own shows you want to help them succeed in whatever they are doing.  Tool...

In a merger, two groups contract to join forces within a certain period of time. In a marriage, two people covenant to become one—and that's a lifelong process.  It doesn't just happen in deep discussions and major moments, great as those times may be.  It also occurs in the small, daily things of life when you are intentional about growing together with your spouse. Whether it's cooking together, exercising...