We often associate the heart with love, but practically speaking, the heart sustains life. It needs all four chambers working right.  My wife, Susan, and I believe there are four chambers in every wife’s heart that fill her with life and love. The first chamber of a wife’s heart is to be understood, even when you don’t agree on everything. Your good listening skills help her see you’re trying to understand her,...

Twenty-five years of marriage to my wife, Susan, has taught me that women often communicate by saying one thing, but meaning another. So for all the men out there who thought it was impossible to understand women, here is a key for decoding your wife’s words. First, when she says “I’m fine” she really means “I’m not fine, but I’m not ready to talk about it.” Second, when she says, “Didn’t you go out with your...

During our 25 years of marriage, I’ve said a few things to Susan that didn’t make her happy. Maybe you’ve said a few things that didn’t please your wife either. So what are some of those things you should not say to your wife? Here are a few…"Calm down. Relax!” This can come across as belittling of their emotional stress. Another is “What were you thinking?” When that’s said, you’re basically saying “that was a...

That may sound strange, but last month when my wife had yet another serious heart surgery, I struggled to trust God more than I thought I would…and even more than Susan did.  My lack of trust came in part from my own helplessness…not being in control. She was in the hands of a surgeon who doesn’t know or love her like I do. But control is a bit of a myth…there are so many things I cannot control in life.  Sure, I...

When our expectations for our wives become unreasonable, we are really setting our marriages up to falter and perhaps even fail. Here are some unfair expectations husbands should avoid. First, that she always needs you to fix it. Just because Susan tells me about a challenge doesn’t mean she wants me to fix it. She usually knows how to fix something and just wants me to listen to her. Second, you should not just...

Somehow a small disagreement turned into a major dispute.  You and your spouse continued to fight until it got out of control.  Now you’re left standing alone in the kitchen, knowing she’s upstairs in the bedroom with a hurting heart.  Our first instinct is to stand our ground and “win” the argument.  But, when you do that, nobody really wins. So, what should you do? Hold your spouse higher than your pride. Don’t...

We all want to be the best husband we can be.  But it’s not easy. Why? Well, women are different—their desires and their ways of communicating are often not like our own.  Here are 5 things wives wish their husbands knew.  First, that women desire appreciation.  Wives want to feel valued. And being a mom is hard work, so never take them for granted.  Second, that wives desire attention.  So in a world where...