There’s no excuse for having an affair. And sure, sometimes they happen out of the blue but, more often than not, affairs don’t just happen. Usually there are things that are said or not said, done or not done, over the years that are contributing factors.  Here are some ways to push your spouse toward an affair.  First, constantly, compare and criticize.  Hurt and tear down your spouse with critical or comparing...

Porcupines have trigger points that cause the sharp quills on its back to raise up. When it’s threatened or irritated, it can get really mean and shoot those quills into someone or something and cause a lot of pain. Well, I’ve got certain trigger points that cause me to get cranky and prickly. One of mine is unmet expectations. When I have crazy high expectations for others, and those expectations are not met, I...

From an early age, we can recognize the innate differences between our sons and daughters.  But it’s even more important to understand how to handle those differences and uniquely parent your boys well.  Part of our job as parents is to turn our rambunctious, young sons into respectful, mature men.  So here are several principles for raising boys well.  First, channel their energy.  Instead of constantly telling...

There are some short sentences that every child needs to hear, on a regular basis, from their dad.  These sentences can make or break their sense of identity, belonging, security and value. For example, tell your child “I'm here for you.” Being available to your child is incredibly important. And it’s more than just permission to come to you when times are tough…it’s an invitation with a welcome mat.  It tells...

Movies have a way of making puppy love seem sweet and innocent.  But when our kids begin dating in real life, it becomes a whole different ball game.  So how involved should dads be in their child’s dating life?  Well, here are some things to know about the person your child is dating.  First, learn the basics.  For safety reasons, you should know their cell number, the type of car they drive, their parents’...

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressures and busyness of life, you’re not alone. And if you aren’t careful, those things can lead you to a searing desert where joy evaporates. But solitude and silence are an oasis that can help you gain perspective in at least five ways. First, solitude and silence can make you feel helpless and help you realize you’re not in control of so many things in life. And when you...

Words matter.  I choose them carefully and look for the right words for the situation. But I’ve learned there’s a fine line between being curt and courteous. How we say the words is as important as what we say.  There are three things we need to remember about communicating with our spouse that make all the difference.  First, the way we use our body can change an innocent comment into the start of something bad. ...