Conflict tends to bring out the worst in people. They can all too easily become aggressive, insulting, and hurting—leaving wounds on their family members for a long time to come. So how can you fight fair? Here are a few ways for your family to fight fair. First, know when to take a break. When things start escalating, sometimes it’s best to take a short break and walk away from the situation to calm down. ...
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It amazes me how much I’m still learning each day. Just when I think I’ve made some great progress, I mess up and realize I’m still far from being the kind of husband I want to be. But after 25 years of marriage to my wife Susan, I’ve discovered a thing or two about how to communicate well. So here’s what I’ve learned about communicating with my wife. First, communicate gently. Because I’m a “recovering”...
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We’ve heard more than once that men crave respect—especially from their wives. But I think it’s important that we define what sort of respect men are looking for. So women, here are some respect needs of men. First, respect his judgment. Men crave to know that their wife deeply respects the things that make up his judgment: his knowledge, his opinions, and his decisions. Second, respect his abilities. This...
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In this image-obsessed culture, your daughter is constantly wondering if she’s beautiful. Here are three ways you can help her see her beauty. First, TELL her. Don’t wait for your daughter to ask you if you think she’s beautiful…look for opportunities to tell her, unprompted, how beautiful she is on the inside and outside. Tell her that she makes what she wears beautiful, not vice versa. Telling her that she...
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Somehow a small disagreement turned into a major dispute. You and your spouse continued to fight until it got out of control. Now you’re left standing alone in the kitchen, knowing she’s upstairs in the bedroom with a hurting heart. Our first instinct is to stand our ground and “win” the argument. But, when you do that, nobody really wins. So, what should you do? Hold your spouse higher than your pride. Don’t...
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There’s no excuse for having an affair. And sure, sometimes they happen out of the blue but, more often than not, affairs don’t just happen. Usually there are things that are said or not said, done or not done, over the years that are contributing factors. Here are some ways to push your spouse toward an affair. First, constantly, compare and criticize. Hurt and tear down your spouse with critical or comparing...
Porcupines have trigger points that cause the sharp quills on its back to raise up. When it’s threatened or irritated, it can get really mean and shoot those quills into someone or something and cause a lot of pain. Well, I’ve got certain trigger points that cause me to get cranky and prickly. One of mine is unmet expectations. When I have crazy high expectations for others, and those expectations are not met, I...
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