Sure, technology can be tough on relationships. Just ask the wife whose husband's cell phone is glued to his ear. The husband who can't get his wife off the keyboard. Technology has downsides and upsides. With three daughters in college or working and two teen boys at home, I've tried to turn this relational foe into a relational friend. Here's how. First, I send a good-night text to my girls almost every...
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First, focus on the other person…open your posture, look them in the eyes, give them encouraging nods and acknowledging words. Second, summarize what they are saying. You might say something like, "So, what I hear you saying is such and such." Third, ask open-ended questions. Not questions that solicit just a yes or no answer. And don't use the word "why"... "why can't you…" "why didn't you…" "why aren't...
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OK…you're at a ball field and you notice a mom and daughter arriving for a game. For 10 minutes, Mom talks enthusiastically. She laughs, she jokes … but it's not with her daughter…it's with her friend…on the phone! Mom never makes eye contact with her daughter, never talks with her or encourages her before the big game. Sound familiar? If so, take advantage of the time that you have with your kids. You never...
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Sunday is Parent's Day…a day established by Congress for the purpose of "recognizing, uplifting, and supporting the role of parents in bringing up their children." If you've had a good relationship with your mom and dad, use this day as an opportunity to thank them for one important thing they did to impact your life in a positive way. If your relationship with them has been more difficult, use it as an...
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From athletes on steroids to physically abusive rap stars, red-handed corporate executives to red-faced politicians, we have heard apologies galore lately. But does simply saying, "I'm sorry" to your child mean you've taken responsibility for your mistakes? No. Sometimes it just means you're sorry you got caught. There's more to saying sorry to your child than that. A true apology comes with acknowledging what...
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"How was your day?" "Fine." "What did you do at school today?" "Nothing." Sound familiar? We expect them to share their thoughts and feelings on our schedule, but it doesn't happen that way. We have to be patient and we have to be available when they are ready to open up. You never know when it is coming. When it does, you'd better stop whatever you're doing and listen, because the opportunity may not come...
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